I remember / je me souviens

I remember / je me souviens

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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
--John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
--Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason

Saturday, February 28, 2004

I remember cups. I think I became aware of them in tenth grade, when I changed schools. Boys would make jokes when we were at the gym or playing soccer -- "Aw, good thing you were wearing a cup! -- God, I hope he was wearing a cup!" I wasn't sure whether they were jock straps (which I'd now been wearing since maybe sixth grade) or not. It was obvious that jock straps offered you some protection, but not enough to provoke so much interest. And really we were careful (I was careful) not to look at kinds adjusting their genitals in the locker room. Besides very few boys did wear them. When I finally saw one I knew what it was immediately. A triangular plastic shape with holes, a kind of hockey mask for your privates, it seemed uncomfortable. I never wore one, even though our soccer coach, when I was on the team, required us to. He also required us not to smoke, a rule widely ignored as well. (Now I don't think I've seen a cup since college: my lacrosse playing roommates used to keep them on their dressers.)

posted by william 7:42 AM
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